I can't decide what to get for lunch today. Nothing seems appealing to me.

The way I see it I should be headed home right now no matter how you count.

Did I ever tell you about that time I outnerded this huge nerd? I bet not. The drama here is intense so you might want to go to the bathroom and such before I begin bodily urges do not necessitate the temporary cessation of your reading. You will be on the edge of your seat. Indeed, you will be all over the rest of the thing as well due to the intensely intense nature of this story. It played out as follows:

Frank (this is me) boards a blue line train. Finds seat.

Frank notices huge nerd across isle from him.

Huge nerd, who obviously fancies himself as some sort of silverback gorilla alphanerd, notices nerdly opposition in the form of Frank (this is me) sitting across the isle.

Huge nerd displays grossly dogeared and overread volume of J.R.R. Tolkien w/ transparently feigned nonchalance. This is much like the spreading of tailfeathers by a gentleman peacock--intended to assert maximum nerdosity like so much colored plumage.

Frank (this is me) displays copy of Hawking's A Brief History of Time. Huge nerd, stumbling to regain ground, delves into his plus one bag of holding to find a D&D Monster Manuel or something, anything nerdier than reading books about physics for fun. The futility of this pursuit dawns on him w/in the course of thirty seconds.

Huge nerd, wounded and outnerded, curls into a ball and rolls away like a tumbleweed, crying.


Most of this is actually true. However, I did take some poetic license in order to entertain you dumb fuckers.

Fine. Nine things, that's all you get w/ the Weekly Wrapup:

1. Ate a burrito w/ someone.
2. Talked.
3. Got some work done.
4. Meandered aimlessly.
5. Figured it out.
6. six six
7. Rearanged amplifiers.
8. Rocked out.
9. Considered maybe saying something.

It seems that more than one person per day is visiting here on average. I take this as evidence that world boredom is reaching critical mass and there will soon be a revolt in the name of Frank. This can only work out well for me.

I had so many thoughts that I was going to post but didn't today it's unbelievable-- but you better believe it because it's true.

Yep.

It's stupid that I have to type in a word confirmation to leave comments on my own damn blog but better than getting blogspam.

People keep asking me, "Brother Frank, did you see any weird Tshirts today at while walking to Mr. Submarine for a regular cheese sub w/ everything--hot?" And yeah, I did today as a matter of fact--a shirt that said: Ich bin Blond. Bitte Sprechen Sie langsam. For those of you who don't speak German, that means "I'm blond. Please speak slowly." The (presumably German) gentlemen wearing said shirt had gray hair peppered w/ the original brown of his youth. I defy anyone to explain this.

This weekend I managed to get one of the most epic hangovers in the history of existence--like, I'm not sure that I can honestly say that it didn't cause hallucinations. Yeah--that kinda makes you think about things. However, I'm exageratting so it doesn't really. It wasn't bad enough to stop This I Command from rocking faces at the Note so, really, how can I complain?

I bet you thought I was gonna forget to post my Weekly Wrapup. You thought wrong, toiler!

1. Got photographed in front of a fountain by some cute but random girl.
2. Made sun dried tomato pesto and ate it.
3. Smiled at someone who deserved to be smiled at.
4. Smelled good for a while.
5. Started reading Acid Dreams
6. six six
7. Wandered aimlessly and found what I was looking for.
8. Fixed a mistake.
9. Considered having another.

So there you are.

My diet has become monotonous as it is delicious, consisting solely of burriots, subs and pizza.

Another thing that pisses me off:

It should be payday today but there is no new money in my bank account. There is old money in my bank account and that's cool but this lack of new money is disturbing. I'm am going to have to talk w/ our accountant, who I will call the Hairy Gremlin from here on out, to see what's up. I don't like talking on the phone and I especially don't like talking to the Hairy Gremlin about money on the phone. This is bad.

A lot of things piss me off:

• Lack of pizza by the slice in the close vicinity of my office.
• Pizza by the slice places who don't have the staples--cheese, peperoni, sausage--hot and ready to eat at lunch time.

Actaully, that's about it right now. Don't worry though. I get pissed off all the time about all kinds of crap and I promise to keep you informed.

I just checked my savings account. The money in there has earned me six dollars and sixtyeight cents this year all w/o me working a second. I got this whole saving thing licked. If I can just save up a couple thousand times more money than I have, I can quit my job. Easy peasy.

Normally, I try to post in this every work day but I didn't yesterday just to throw off the spooks so they will think I've been captured by the enemy. W/ this ruse in place, I can now implement phase three. How do you feel about that?

I've been getting too many spam comments so now I'm making it so you have to read some text in a little box and retype it before you can leave a comment. If you can't handle that, I don't want to hear from you anyway.

I don't feel sorry for homeless people. You know why? Because I have a burrito. That's why.

I really don't want to do anything but sit here and have a headache but for you, dear reader, I will tell you the exactly nine things I did this week because that's what constitutes the Weekly Wrapup:

1. Ate Morrocan food. I think it was Morracan anyway.
2. Grew bored w/ my job as a doctor. I ran out of patience.
3. Worried about flowers.
4. Worried about dinner too.
5. Didn't lead the boys out of Hamelin by playing sweet music on my pipe.
6. six six
7. Tried to remember something I forgot.
8. Sprayed stuff on my feet.
9. Considered not writing this.

That's all you get.

My contacts are all messed up. I can't see right and it's beginning to really bug me.

So after I posted that last bit, I noticed that I got quite a few hits last Friday. Disturbingly, this coincides w/ my second mention of monkeys taking of little boys' pants. It seems like there would be more in depth sources for this sort of thing on the web with all the perverts out there and all but I suppose that is not the case. For those of you who are wondering, this is my stance on monkeys taking off little boys' pants:

I feel it should only be done w/ the parental consent of the monkey in question.

I just feel the need to post something out of respect for my diligent readers.

If you look down at the comments on my last post, you'll see that I've gotten some spam. This means I've made it to the big time. The other indication of this is that if that someone doing a search for Summer of the Monkeys by Wilson Rawls on Yahoo.com somehow found his way here to learn of my exploits reading books about monkeys that take little boys' pants off.

Having done only nine things for so many weeks in a row, it has become second nature for me to do so like breathing or drinking beers. So here you are, the Weekly Wrapup:

1. Thought about what to eat for lunch a lot.
2. Made or received a phone call every day.
3. Sat on the stoop.
4. Downloaded all my pictures.
5. Aided somebody.
6. six six
7. Tried to understand.
8. Though about dogs.
9. Considered taking a magical longevity potion so that I might live for all eternity.

Another good week. I consider myself pretty much unstoppable at this point.

I had a chocolate chip bagel this morning. I grabbed it, thinking it was a raisin bagel. It would have been good w/ chocolate chip cream cheese.

I had an everything bage w/ plain cream cheese for lunch. It would have been better if I got some soup or something too. I'm still a bit hungry. I'm not sure if I'll stay on the bagel train though. Actually, I'm pretty sure I won't. Like in every other moment of my life, I'm craving Pizza.