Did I ever tell you about that time I outnerded this huge nerd? I bet not. The drama here is intense so you might want to go to the bathroom and such before I begin bodily urges do not necessitate the temporary cessation of your reading. You will be on the edge of your seat. Indeed, you will be all over the rest of the thing as well due to the intensely intense nature of this story. It played out as follows:

Frank (this is me) boards a blue line train. Finds seat.

Frank notices huge nerd across isle from him.

Huge nerd, who obviously fancies himself as some sort of silverback gorilla alphanerd, notices nerdly opposition in the form of Frank (this is me) sitting across the isle.

Huge nerd displays grossly dogeared and overread volume of J.R.R. Tolkien w/ transparently feigned nonchalance. This is much like the spreading of tailfeathers by a gentleman peacock--intended to assert maximum nerdosity like so much colored plumage.

Frank (this is me) displays copy of Hawking's A Brief History of Time. Huge nerd, stumbling to regain ground, delves into his plus one bag of holding to find a D&D Monster Manuel or something, anything nerdier than reading books about physics for fun. The futility of this pursuit dawns on him w/in the course of thirty seconds.

Huge nerd, wounded and outnerded, curls into a ball and rolls away like a tumbleweed, crying.


Most of this is actually true. However, I did take some poetic license in order to entertain you dumb fuckers.