There are certain times where you can say something and can be absolutely certain that response will have nothing to do w/ what you said. One of these times is when talking to a cat-lover. If you're anything like me--and I think you are--what you would say in this situation is that cats suck because they're selfish, cruel and dirty. The response you get in will without a doubt be something disparaging towards dogs. "But dogs lick their butts, bark and drool over everything!" You can explain that that's all well and good but it does not change the fact that cats are selfish, cruel and dirty and, indeed, you don't much like dogs either but a cat lover cannot understand this. As far as why this is, I cannot fathom. I mean, do you have to have a dog or a cat as a pet? Couldn't you keep a nice hamster or just not have a pet at all? Why have something selfish, cruel and dirty living in your house just because it's not a dog? That just plain doesn't make sense.

I'm not saying this is unique to cat lovers. In fact, I was simply using it as an example of a manner of thinking that is completely unreasonable and foolish. There's other people who respond to critical remarks in the same way. Communists, for example, will immediately start criticising capitalists; vegans will criticise meat-eaters and capitalists; Cubs fans criticize the neighborhoods on the south side of Chicago; and Mennonites criticise the Amish. None if it makes sense. Can't we all just admit that we can hate something w/o having to like something else.

What's this? Did I remember to write the Weekly Wrapup two weeks in a row? You bet your ass, I did! However, I'm leaving work as soon as I'm done w/ this so you can forget about it being worth reading. Here's what I did this week:

1. Cooked Indian food.
2. Ate Indian food.
3. Watched movies.
4. Bought half a guitar. Well--maybe a little more than half.
5. Danced.
   
6. six six
   
7. Drank wine and beer.
   
8. Was totally awesome.
   
9. Considered the other half. Well--maybe a little less than half.
   

I told you it wasn't gonna be worth reading. If you wasted your time, it's your own damn fault.

If you drink soy milk, you're retarded. That's that. You're just plain stupid. It costs less money to produce, costs more and tastes worse. You're being ripped off. B-b-b-but I really like soy milk! you say, I like it better than real milk. Bullshit. I'm calling shennanigans. Something doesn't make sense about that statement. If soy is so much better than real milk, why aren't people trying to make dairy tastes like soy? Nobody ever tries to make anything taste like soy. Why? Because soy tastes like crap. A lot of people say soy just tastes like whatever you cook it in. Well--that may well be so but the reason you gotta cook in something is to cover up the intense taste of crap.

I have some questions about horses. Answers are appreciated.

Why don't we eat horses? Do they taste bad or is it because they're useful in other regards? If you're saying the former, why don't we just breed them to taste better? We did that w/ cattle. If you're saying the latter, are you kidding me? Horses aren't useful anymore. I say kill 'em. I don't care if they do make good pets. Pets are useless and food is essential.

Have you ever noticed that girls who really like horses tend to look a lot like horses? I have. Is that because they notice that horses have a lot in common w/ them and befriend them or does hanging out in stables all day just tend to make you look like a horse?

Are zebras just striped horses or what? Until you can prove otherwise, I'm saying they are. (Speaking of zebras, the only thing I can think of that stupider than a zebra is a unicorn and unicorns don't really exist. Does this make zebras the stupidest things in existence? I'll let you be the judge of that?)

I've heard they use old horses to make glue. How's that work? There's a lot of bad things I can say about horses but I've never been able to call one sticky.

How come cowboys rode horses? Wouldn't camels be better out there in the dessert? I guess camels don't quite look cool enough to really suit a cowboy's needs. Well--that and camels are primarily located in other countries.

It is my opinion that the Chicago White Sox need to stop fuckin' up. W/ that said, I can move on to the Weekly Wrapup. Here's what I did this week:

1. Made sandwiches.
2. Bridged the River Kwai.
3. Talked the trash.
4. Retubed.
5. Was victorious in all regards.
6. six six
7. Wailed.
8. Scanned.
9. Considered the massive failure.

That's all you get.

Do you know what I like about Friday? Well--not the only thing I like about Friday. Actually, compared to a lot of things, this is pretty minor. But one thing I like about Friday is I can drink as much damn coffee as I want. Normally, I don't drink it past eleven in the morning because it makes it hard for me to sleep. But on Friday? Fuck it. I don't want to get to bed on time on Friday any damn way.