Throughout the entire world there is one constant that is universal for every race and every culture: the love of shitty beer. You can get a shitty beer from anywhere in the world. There's Budweiser, Bush, Coors, etc. in the US, Molson Ice in Canada, Heineken in Holland, Beck's in Germany, Boddington's in England, Athenian in Greece, Corona in Mexico, Boom in the Czech Republic, and so on. I've tried shitty beer from all over the world and I now know better than anyone that shitty beer sucks.

Now you ask, how can I like Stroh's and PBR and still not like shitty beer? Easy. Stroh's and PBR aren't shitty. They're the crisp, flavorful alternatives to Bud Light. As a general rule, if you're going to be drinking cheap beer make sure its really, really cheap. Once that's taken care of make sure it's not Natural or Milwaukee's Best. Then, make sure it doesn't say light, lite, dry or low-carbohydrates. Now, you probably have Stroh's, Rolling Rock, PBR, Schlitz, Schafer, Gennessee or something of that nature. All of those are respectable beers. Drink them proudly.

If you mix PBR and Carling Black Label, you can call it a Black and Blue.

I'm allergic to cats. I like cats but I can't stand to be around them. I want one of those mutant cats that have no hair. I'll name it Frank.

My heater in my car doesn't work. The fan works but it blows cold air. I think it's the heater core which is this little tiny radiator that produces the heat for your car. To replace the heater core one must remove every single piece of the vehicle from the engine to the taillights. This is because the first part of a car that's designed is the heater core. It forms a nucleus around which the vehicle is built.

Ok, that was all a bunch of crap. Well, mostly. My heater core is busted and it's a pain in the ass to change. Screw you pain-in-the-ass-to-change heater core!

Cars are a pain in the ass in general. My preferred mode of transport is Reeboks.