I was reading some other peoples' blogs and it made me feel really pathetic that I have one too. However, the feeling was fleeting and soon I was drunk. It felt like home.

Well, I'm at home now. It can be annoying here but the food is free and good. Today, I've eaten scrambled eggs, pizza, about seven tiny Reece's Peanut Butter Cups, two pickles, a steak, a potato, a large salad with a pepperochini, a slice of banana-cream-meringue pie, and a bunch of Jello. I've also resolved to have at least another large sandwich before bed.

The banana-cream-meringue pie is device my own and my sister's creation. It's simply a banana-cream pie covered in meringue. And it's as excellent as it is unusual to spell. We made it a banana-cream-meringue pie because upon the completion of an ordinary banana-cream pie we found we had four extra egg-whites left from the eggs that we needed the yolks from. We said, "Hey, why don't we make meringue?" We thought about it for a while and finally decided it was a good idea. Then we said, "Hey, what are we gonna do with this meringue?" We decided to put it on a pie. So then we said, "Hey, what pie should we put it on?" We had only one pie, a banana-cream pie. So we said, "Hey, how 'bout that banana-cream pie?" It seemed like a good enough plan so we went for it and didn't look back.

A good sandwich recipe:

One 12-inch sandwich bun
1/4 lb. hard salami (all weights approx..)
1/4 lb. corned beef.
1/4 lb. Colby jack cheese
1 whole Roma tomato, sliced
1/2 onion, thinly sliced
banana pepper rings
Lettuce
Italian dressing
butter
hot sauce

Cut the bun in half lengthwise on the horizontal plane. Butter the top half. Spread Italian dressing on the bottom half. Layer in this order starting from the bottom half and working up: onion, salami, beef, hot sauce, tomato, pepper rings, lettuce, cheese. Put the top-half on the sandwich and press in a George Foreman Grill for about five minutes or until cheese is melted and the onions are soft.

This sandwich is not named. It's not mind-blowing but it is a solid sandwich. Sort of a starter sandwich. If you stick in there, I will one day teach you the wonders of the deadly but beautiful Masterpiece of Disasterpiece. When you're ready, of course. When you're ready.

By the way the onions are on the bottom of the sandwich so that they cook before the tomatoes get all warm and gross. Strong contrast between tomato temperature and the temperature of the rest of the sandwich is necessary for the proper mouthfeel of a sandwich. Trust me. I know.