Brewed my first batch of beer today in Marion. Brewing beer is not as much fun as cooking. Mostly, it's literally watching a pot boil. On top of that, tasting your concoction is not as much fun as with food as it doesn't taste like the finished project. It just tastes really sweet with harshly bitter hops. Oh well... In the long run, I suspect it should be at least as fulfilling as cooking is. At the very least, it was relaxing.

I needed some relaxation today too. My father confronted me on the issue of me moving to Chicago. He's irate to say the least. He called me a coward, which I have to admit is a little disturbing to me. I guess I am running away from things in a sense but, not to sound too cliché, I am running toward something else that will ultimately be more fulfilling to me.

I've been bored my whole life outside of a few fleeting romantic moments. Moving to Chicago with no real plans, no safety net, is exciting to me. I want to be excited. I want to live, damnit.

My family seems to think I'm running away from them. I understand they're worried but I wish they'd support me a little more. I love my family, my sisters and my parents, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I'm going to miss them when I'm away.

I still feel like I'm too young to commit myself to a button-down Carree. Being an engineer makes me feel old, old, old. I can't live with that, not now.

I've been doing what I'm supposed to do for too long. I was supposed to go to college so I went. Since I'm good at math, I was supposed to learn to be an engineer. I did that too. My mistake. I'm all for anyone who wants to further their education; you should be learning new things your whole life. But if you choose to go to college, for god's sake don't make the same mistake I did. Learn to do something you love.