Doctors:

The average shmuck you see on the street could do ninety percent of your job better than you do w/ about three months of training. It's time to lower your rates. Exploiting the sick--you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Mutants:

It must be kinda neat being a mutant but probably pretty hard to get laid depending on what's weird about you. You should put up some adds on Craigslist or something. There're fetishists out there; you just have to find them.

Beluga Whales:

Look out for those polar bears. They'll eat you and then swim fifty miles home.

Minors:

Don't give up so easily. Eventually some dude who walks into the 7-Eleven will be willing to buy you a forty ounce if you give him five bucks and you'll never find him if you stop trying now.