To the internet community in general:

It appears to me that you aren't buying my stuff as I would like you to be. The issue I have w/ this is I don't want that stuff but I do want the six hundred dollars that I'm selling it for. As of now, my money to stuff ratio is off and I need to skew it in favor of the money side for a brief couple days so that I might replace the stuff I don't want w/ stuff I do want. The advantage of this to you is that it will even out your own money to stuff-that-people-named-Frank-used-to-own ratio which is currently skewed about six hundred dollars toward the money side. Don't you feel a little unbalanced walking around? That's because you're wallet's too heavy and you aren't carrying around a fifty watt Marshall fullstack (albeit w/ one of the cabs being a Peavey). Why not? Don't ask me. I'm not the one who should be buying my stuff. I can't buy that stuff. It's mine already and that's problem.

Sincerely,
Frank