So today I saw two cops who were riding Segways on the sidewalk tell some bike messenger to stop riding his bike on the sidewalk. I fail to see the difference between using different modes of wheeled personal transport in this case aside from the fact the bike messenger was navigating deftly through pedestrians and the Segway cops were lumbering slowly abreast of each other and blocking half the sidewalk. I should mention that both cops were fat enough for it to be humorous.

Speaking of fat, what makes people think they can lose weight simply by buying things? It doesn't work. You'll just end up looking at your fat ass in the mirror one day thinking, "But I bought the shoes and the stretchy pants!" and the go eat an icecream bar to make yourself feel better--low fat, naturally.

And speaking of low fat food, I don't get the point. If you just go ahead and eat nothing, it has no fat and no calories. Nothing is the perfect food for diets and it's cheap.