We ran out of shitty coffee so now I'm drinking instant--the "inst" as we call it in the neighborhood. The trick to drinking instant coffee is to use three times as much as you're supposed too and loading up on sugar and that Frankensteinian powdered creamer and drinking it in three lukewarm gulps. It lights the mind on fire.

So much on fire, in fact, that I'm going to go around in a minute and tear down the inspirational slogans we have hung up all over the place. God, inspiration pisses me off.