Parents:

Their is no excuse to bring your kids to work w/ you. If you can't find child care, make them drink mint schnapps and hot cocoa until they pass out and leave them at home. Simple as that.

Students:

School sucks but it's better than most everything else so do your best not to graduate.

Ducks:

What the hell does quack mean? I have a feeling even you don't know. Seriously. Shut up until you have something to say.

Couches:

How did you get to be so comfortable? Were you born that way or was it a skill you acquired at some point in life? I would have to think you work for years earning advanced degrees only to be sat on all day.