What are Tootsie Rolls made of? They're like some unholy alliance between chocolate and wax--not that I don't love 'em. And how come you can only get the weird flavored ones around Halloween time? They have the same texture as the regular ones only w/ fruit flavors and such. There's a vanilla one that's especially odd. I like to eat one of them at the same time as an orange one for a tasty wax creamcicle.

I am all for unholy candies but I do have to draw the line at circus peanuts and those little bottles of liquid that your mom used to put in my Easter basket. Those things make Tootsie Rolls look like organic vegan cuisine.

On a completely related note, while on my pizza break (this is what I call lunch now) I saw one of those sidewalk streetsweepers--the kind that the operator guides while walking behind it. That's not all so strange on it's own unless you take into account that it constantly repeated a word of caution... w/ a British accent. How do you like that?

Really, I want to know.