I got squashed on the train yesterday. The fault was not my own but that of an obese gentleman.

Upon entering the train, I found my only seating option was on the left of a woman on the bad end of moderately overweight. Not being particularly considerate, she made no effort to accommodate my seating and thus caused me a small amount of discomfort--no big deal. I do admit to feeling relieved to some small extent when the time came for her to exit.

Of course, goods things never last. An abnormally obese gentleman found occupation as her replacement. Like Baby Huey, he crushed me, showing no signs of remorse and, indeed, no signs even that he was aware of my unenviable position. I spend the remainder of the trip conserving breath so that I might squeal loud enough for him to hear me when the time came for me to depart in the hopes that he might shift his mammoth girth enough to allow me to do so.